New York Governor Kathy Hochul — the woman who presided over skyrocketing crime, crushing taxes, and COVID mandates that drove millions of productive New Yorkers to pack a U-Haul and flee south — is now publicly begging those same people to come back. She actually went on camera and asked former residents to move back to New York. Because she needs their money.

That’s like your ex texting you “I miss you” two years after they set your car on fire and drained your bank account. The answer is no, Kathy. Hard no.

Glenn Beck absolutely roasted her for this on his show, and honestly, where do you even start? This woman spent the last several years making New York completely unlivable for working families. Taxes through the roof. Criminals getting released before the arresting officer finishes the paperwork. Mandates that shut down businesses and schools while Hochul’s buddies in Albany kept cashing their checks. And now — NOW — she’s figured out that when you chase all the taxpayers out of your state, there’s nobody left to fund your little socialist utopia.

Shocking development, right? Who could have predicted that?

Oh wait. Literally everyone predicted that. We predicted that. Glenn Beck predicted that. Your uncle who moved to Florida three years ago predicted that while loading his golf clubs into his truck.

The numbers are brutal, and they’re not even a secret anymore. New York has been hemorrhaging residents for years. The U.S. Census data shows the state lost over 500,000 people in just a few years — and these weren’t random people. These were the earners. The business owners. The families who actually paid into the system. They took their income taxes, their property taxes, their spending, and their businesses to Texas, Florida, Tennessee, and the Carolinas.

And every single one of those states said “Welcome aboard” while New York waved goodbye and then turned around and raised taxes on whoever was dumb enough to stay.

So what’s Hochul’s big play? A charm offensive. She’s out there talking about how great New York is, how the quality of life is “improving,” how there are “opportunities” for people who come back. She’s basically running a tourism ad for people who used to live there and left because they couldn’t afford it.

(Imagine getting a letter from your old landlord: “Hey, I know I raised your rent 40% and the building had rats, but I painted the lobby! Come back?”)

Here’s what makes this truly delicious. Hochul hasn’t changed a single policy. Not one. The taxes are still astronomical. The crime is still a daily adventure. The subway is still a place where you take your life in your hands every morning. The business regulations are still strangling every small shop owner who hasn’t already fled to Nashville.

She didn’t fix anything. She just realized the credit card is maxed out and she needs someone to make the payments.

This is the Democrat playbook in its purest form. Step one: create policies that punish success. Step two: watch successful people leave. Step three: blame the people who left for the budget shortfall. Step four: beg them to come back so you can punish them again.

It’s a beautiful cycle if you’re a masochist.

Beck nailed it when he pointed out the absolute audacity of the pitch. You don’t get to destroy someone’s quality of life, tax them into oblivion, refuse to prosecute the guy who mugged them on the way to work, and then act surprised when they move to a state where the governor isn’t actively trying to ruin their life. That’s not a mystery. That’s cause and effect. They teach it in middle school — or at least they used to, before New York’s education budget got redirected to “equity consultants.”

The best part? The people who left are doing great. Florida doesn’t have a state income tax. Texas doesn’t have a state income tax. Tennessee doesn’t have a state income tax. These folks moved to states that actually want them there, and they’re keeping more of their money, living in safer neighborhoods, and sending their kids to schools that teach math instead of gender theory.

Why on earth would any of them go back?

“Hey, remember how miserable you were? Come be miserable again! We promise we’ll only take 13% of your income this time! Also, the subway floods now. But we have great bagels!”

No thanks, Governor. The people who left New York didn’t leave because they stopped loving pizza. They left because you made it impossible to live there. And until you figure that out — which, based on your track record, will be approximately never — they’re staying right where they are.

Enjoy the budget deficit. You earned it.