The Sensitive Generation: Zoomers Afraid to Go Poop at Work

SutidaS / shutterstock.com
SutidaS / shutterstock.com

We already know that Generation Z is more sensitive about their feelings than older generations, but this is a bit much. A British bathroom appliance supplier called QS Supplies has conducted a workplace survey to learn more about how the bathroom habits of Zoomers impact workplace productivity. The results found that 34% of GenZ employees are afraid to go poop while they’re at work. The self-inflicted health problems that result from this are a major drain on time and money at the companies where they work.

QS Supplies surveyed the bathroom habits of 1,000 GenZ workers to gauge the impact that restroom breaks have on productivity for companies. This was obviously marketing research intended to pitch high-end workplace bathrooms to the corporate world, and it did yield some surprising data.

Around 1 out of every 12 GenZ employees admit that they have never pooped in their office restroom. About 1 in 5 say they refuse to poop at the office unless it’s an extreme emergency, preferring to duck out and use the facilities at a restaurant or other location during a lunch break. Twenty-five percent of Zoomers say they hold it in all day and wait until they get home from work to relieve themselves.

Employees in their 20s struggle in the workplace for a variety of reasons, but bathroom troubles are one that hasn’t come up in public surveys before this. Insurance company Vitality found that Zoomers lose an average of one day of work every week due to mental health concerns. They clock in at the office, but they don’t get anything done because they have the “sads.” This means that if a company employs a Zoomer, they’re only about 80% as efficient as a Millennial, Gen Xer, or Boomer.

Gallup has estimated that Gen Z employees who “check out” at the office due to mental health issues cost the corporate world an estimated $8.8 trillion in lost productivity a year. Vitality notes that Zoomers are 224% more likely to suffer from depression compared to older generations. They also take far more sick days than older workers.

QS Supplies notes that the bathroom fears of Gen Z are also costing companies when it comes to productivity. Almost two-thirds of Zoomers (64%) suffer from stomach pain or discomfort and 45% experience increased stress or anxiety from not pooping. About 40% give themselves constipation by holding it in and 34% are distracted from their work duties by not heeding the “call of doody.” Another 30% suffer digestive problems.

All these health problems add up to even more sick days and lost productivity due to hiring toilet-shy Zoomers. When they do take bathroom breaks, Zoomers are often not using the bathroom, according to the research. They sit on the toilet to catch a quick catnap, resulting in a loss of an average of $2,833 per year for every Zoomer employee.

There’s also a sizable gender gap among Zoomers when it comes to pooping at work. About 48% of female employees are scared to use the toilet, compared to 19% of young men. One in five young women refuse to poop at work, compared to 15% of young men. Young women are also more likely (30%) to wait until they get home than young men (21%).

When you add up all the lost productivity and lower profit margins that result from hiring Gen Z workers, it’s no wonder corporate America prefers to import giant hordes of illegal aliens to replace their workers.